我发现了一个非常简单易行的解决办法

    fun showDialog(){
    val dialog = Dialog(this@DialogActivity)
    dialog.requestWindowFeature(Window.FEATURE_NO_TITLE)
    dialog.setCancelable(false)
    dialog.setContentView(R.layout.custom_dialog)
    val txtTitle = dialog.findViewById<TextView>(R.id.txtTitle)
    val btn  = dialog.findViewById<Button>(R.id.button)

    btn.setOnClickListener {
        Toast.makeText(this,"test",Toast.LENGTH_SHORT).show()
    }
    txtTitle.setText("ali")
    dialog.show()

    val window = dialog.window
    window?.setLayout(WindowManager.LayoutParams.MATCH_PARENT,WindowManager.LayoutParams.WRAP_CONTENT)
}

在初始化对话框对象并设置内容视图之后。这样做并享受。

(在这种情况下，我设置90%的宽度和70%的高度，因为宽度90%，它将超过工具栏)

DisplayMetrics displaymetrics = new DisplayMetrics();
getActivity().getWindowManager().getDefaultDisplay().getMetrics(displaymetrics);
int width = (int) ((int)displaymetrics.widthPixels * 0.9);
int height = (int) ((int)displaymetrics.heightPixels * 0.7);
d.getWindow().setLayout(width,height);
d.show();

    final AlertDialog alertDialog;

    LayoutInflater li = LayoutInflater.from(mActivity);
    final View promptsView = li.inflate(R.layout.layout_dialog_select_time, null);

    RecyclerView recyclerViewTime;
    RippleButton buttonDone;

    AlertDialog.Builder alertDialogBuilder = new AlertDialog.Builder(mActivity);
    alertDialogBuilder.setView(promptsView);

    // create alert dialog
    alertDialog = alertDialogBuilder.create();

    /**
     * setting up window design
     */
    alertDialog.requestWindowFeature(Window.FEATURE_NO_TITLE);


    alertDialog.show();

    DisplayMetrics metrics = new DisplayMetrics(); //get metrics of screen
    mActivity.getWindowManager().getDefaultDisplay().getMetrics(metrics);
    int height = (int) (metrics.heightPixels * 0.9); //set height to 90% of total
    int width = (int) (metrics.widthPixels * 0.9); //set width to 90% of total

    alertDialog.getWindow().setLayout(width, height); //set layout
    recyclerViewTime = promptsView.findViewById(R.id.recyclerViewTime);


    DialogSelectTimeAdapter dialogSelectTimeAdapter = new DialogSelectTimeAdapter(this);
    RecyclerView.LayoutManager linearLayoutManager = new LinearLayoutManager(this);
    recyclerViewTime.setLayoutManager(linearLayoutManager);
    recyclerViewTime.setAdapter(dialogSelectTimeAdapter);

    buttonDone = promptsView.findViewById(R.id.buttonDone);
    buttonDone.setOnClickListener(new View.OnClickListener() {
        @Override
        public void onClick(View view) {

            alertDialog.dismiss();

        }
    });

尝试将你的自定义对话框布局包装成RelativeLayout而不是LinearLayout。这对我很管用。

更简单的是这样做:

int width = (int)(getResources().getDisplayMetrics().widthPixels*0.90);
int height = (int)(getResources().getDisplayMetrics().heightPixels*0.90);

alertDialog.getWindow().setLayout(width, height);

下面的方法对我来说效果不错:

    <style name="MyAlertDialogTheme" parent="Base.Theme.AppCompat.Light.Dialog.Alert">
        <item name="windowFixedWidthMajor">90%</item>
        <item name="windowFixedWidthMinor">90%</item>
    </style>

(注:windowMinWidthMajor/Minor，如之前的答案所建议的，没有做到这一点。我的对话框不断改变大小取决于内容)

然后:

AlertDialog.Builder builder = new AlertDialog.Builder(getActivity(), R.style.MyAlertDialogTheme);