一个承包商在申请一家英国银行。

// i don't know how this works but it does so i'll leave it here anyway

他还增加了BNP(英国极右翼政党)作为测试的虚拟客户之一…我们的顶头上司是亚裔。

// this comment included for the benefit of anyone grepping for swearwords: shit.

在20世纪80年代早期的某个时候，我们在PL/I中为公用事业编写财务建模代码。接到一个客户的电话，说代码在评论之后就爆炸了

/* Honest this works */

这家伙用了我们的标准金融方程花了大约15页的代数把一堆代码组合成一个方程。在三里岛事件后，当公用事业公司不得不以巨大的代价注销他们的核电站时，这个方程失败了，因为FIXED BIN 15(整数)溢出，如果代数没有发生，就不会发生这种溢出。

//休斯顿，我们有麻烦了

//Code sanitized to protect the foolish. using System; using System.Collections.Generic; using System.Text; using System.Reflection; using System.Web.UI; namespace Mobile.Web.Control { /// <summary> /// Class used to work around Richard being a fucking idiot /// </summary> /// <remarks> /// The point of this is to work around his poor design so that paging will /// work on a mobile control. The main problem is the BindCompany() method, /// which he hoped would be able to do everything. I hope he dies. /// </remarks> public abstract class RichardIsAFuckingIdiotControl : MobileBaseControl, ICompanyProfileControl { protected abstract Pager Pager { get; } public void BindCompany(int companyId) { } public RichardIsAFuckingIdiotControl() { MakeSureNobodyAccidentallyGetsBittenByRichardsStupidity(); } private void MakeSureNobodyAccidentallyGetsBittenByRichardsStupidity() { // Make sure nobody is actually using that fucking bindcompany method MethodInfo m = this.GetType().GetMethod("BindCompany", BindingFlags.DeclaredOnly | BindingFlags.Instance | BindingFlags.Public | BindingFlags.NonPublic); if (m != null) { throw new RichardIsAFuckingIdiotException("No!! Don't use the fucking BindCompany method!!!"); } // P.S. this method is a joke ... the rest of the class is fucking serious } /// <summary> /// This returns true if this control is supposed to be doing anything /// at all for this request. Richard thought it was a good idea to load /// the entire website during every request and have things turn themselves /// off. He also thought bandanas and aviator sunglasses were "fuckin' /// gnarly, dude." /// </summary> protected bool IsThisTheRightPageImNotSureBecauseRichardIsDumb() { return Request.QueryString["Section"] == this.MenuItemKey; } protected override void OnLoad(EventArgs e) { if (IsThisTheRightPageImNotSureBecauseRichardIsDumb()) { Page.LoadComplete += new EventHandler(Page_LoadComplete); Pager.RowCount = GetRowCountBecauseRichardIsDumb(); } base.OnLoad(e); } protected abstract int GetRowCountBecauseRichardIsDumb(); protected abstract void BindDataBecauseRichardIsDumb(); void Page_LoadComplete(object sender, EventArgs e) { BindDataBecauseRichardIsDumb(); } // the rest of his reduh-ndant interface members public abstract string MenuItemName { get; set; } public abstract string MenuItemKey { get; set; } public abstract bool IsCapable(CapabilityCheck checker, int companyId); public abstract bool ShowInMenu { get; } public virtual Control CreateHeaderControl() { return null; } } }

更新:代码的原作者已经暴露了自己，所以我必须在适当的地方给予赞扬。Dan McKinley在我入职后不久就离开了我所在的公司，他讲述了更多关于代码的内容，解释了一些背景知识和“Richard”所写的一些“WTF”。

//Abandon all hope ye who enter beyond this point